Wednesday, May 28, 2008

What the Hell, make him King

Seriously. If stories like this one don't get people mad, just go ahead and give the guy a crown and stop pretending we have a Constitution.

I've been on debate boards about this and some people say "Well, it keeps us safe" and, boringly naturally, come up with the perfect scenario of 'nuclear bomb about to go off, feds know it but can't prove it, do we let rules destroy a nation?' You may remember that golden moldie from the torture debate as well.

I can see where in extreme situations you may need to step outside the law. But - and this is the part that no one seems to get - the exception should NOT be the law! You can shoot a man if you think he was going to harm you, but you have to then show why you felt that way, not be excused from the start. Perhaps a President may have to grab a citizen and hold them w/o charges, or torture someone to get information. It shouldn't be his power from the start by law; it should be against the law and let him prove it was neccesary.

But then again, I don't wear flag pins and may just have a checkered scarf in the closet, so why do I know?

Little late to the party

Yet another loyalist from Bush's realm has stepped into reality and decided, "Gee whizz, maybe all that stuff I saw wasn't that good." Today's escapee from the Bush ranks: Scott McClellan.

Of course, one always has to take in account the guy is an ex-employee, trying to sell books, and may have an axe to grind. (Like all the other Bush ex-employees trying to sell books out there already - surely none of them can be right!)

Mr. McClellan now says Bush intentionally ignored evidence on Iraq's weapons capabilities. Would this indeed be an impeachable offense, and could it be proven?

I mean, Bush has screwed everything else up so far we may as well go for the full sweep and make it legally binding that he's a horrible President.

Clinical Paranoia?

I mean, is there another reason for this crap?

And I just know you're going to be shocked that professional offense-taker Michelle Malkin is front and center in the fashion flap. This woman probably saw LSD promotion in acid washed jeans.

What's funny is she says the left takes issue with civilly raised question about A SCARF. No, Mrs. Malkin, I think the left doesn't care if you say please, thank you and drip politeness while you're discussing crazy ideas. You may get points for not being obnoxious about your insane idea, but that still means you're seeing jihadist's shadows in fashion trends. Of course, unless I'm wrong, this is the same woman who saw granite counters as evidence of wealth, so I guess she puts a lot of stock on surface things and not too much on digger deeper for real facts.

You know, like most talking heads.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The final straw

McCain, displaying a sense of timing not seen since George Bush unfurled the Mission Accomplished punchline, has finally decided his campaign has enough religious craziness in it and ejected Hagee's spittle-flecked ass out the windows of the Straight Talk express. One can only hope the Express was over water at the time, so when Hagee burbled his way to the bottom the shock that he couldn't walk on water would kill him before he drowned.

Now you may ask, as many reasonablely sane people would and a fair number of gibbering lunatics would as well, WHAT was the thing that made McCain decide that Hagee was unfit? I mean, he shrugged at the insults heaped upon the Catholic Church, even before the false priest Donohue accepted the most lawyerly phrased statement since 'I did not have sex with that woman'. He seemed not to care that Hagee felt a gay parade was the reason Katrina nailed New Orleans, which leads one to assume the Almighty might have been aiming for San Fran and missed badly.

The thing that pushed Hagee over the cliff? This. Apparently, Godwin's law has a much more FAIL effect in politics than on debate boards.

But look at this closely. McCain had to have known that Hagee's particular brand of snake oil is apocalyptic end times, when the nation of Israel would be attacked by the forces of evil. Without the Nazis, there would be no nation to attack, therefore, the Nazis would doing God's work.

It's batshiat crazy and tinfoil fashion insane, but it's internally logical by its own rules. When a crazy guy says purple unicorns pass pine cones, and since his neighbor's yard is full of pine cones but his isn't this means the purple unicorns hang out with neighbor Bob - well, he's still nuts, but at least he's consistent.

So McCain pitched a man for connecting the dots, not for being hateful or insulting. He didn't condemn the man for having a psychopathic delusional belief, he denounced him for following that belief in a 'rational' fashion. So insanity, okay. Gratitious insult, hunky-dory. Gay-bashing, big deal.

But consistency in following this insane, insulting, gay-bashing bellief? McCain can't handle that.

Which is a lot like allowing some guy who swears aliens are following him AND have hired Asians to spy on him AND who roundly blasts Unitarians as agents of the devil to be your friend, and only getting mad when he refuses to go out for Chinese food.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Another step to man-turtle marriage!

Today, Rick Santorum is busily shtupping his wife, trying desperately to keep their marriage alive after California launched a big rainbow colored missle at that sacred institute.

Yes, the end of marriage as we know it was finalized when California said gay married people have to have the same rights as hetero married people. Did you feel the cold breath of Hell? Did your wife become a lesbian? Did you husband confess to liking show tunes?

No? You don't mean gay-baiting panderers like the FRC were WRONG, do you?

Do yourself a favor. Read Greenwald's take on it before you debate it, b/c a lot of the arguments coming from opponents won't be worth the spittle they deliver it with and you can destroy them easily.

Credit where credit is due

Chris Matthews is one of the worst talking heads on TV. No minutae is too little for him to obsess over, making breakfast beverages the equivalent of the Potsdam declaration and shooting pool like windsurfing polo on solid gold boards all to show how Obama (the current target) is out of step with everyday society. 'cause we all know that orange juice is a CLEAR sign of elitism...look at Florida, the state that has its own tag on Fark. Brendan Nyhan, a man of inifinte patience and an apparently unexplodable brain, keeps track of all Matthews's common man id's, showing them to be about as accurate as the ones seen at the local bar during 2 for 1 specials.

But...damn if Matthews didn't do good here. I'm sure Kevin James will portray this as exactly opposite of what happened, given that history is a glaring weak point for him.

But man. You just got made to look like an idiot by a man who feels that Obama can't order orange juice the right way. There may be more clearer signs of epic FAIL, but they usually end in actual death, not just the death of self-respect.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Trust Us

I almost don't want to post this one.

I mean, the regular people who can think will think this is yet another example of Bush's power grabs. The people who defend Bush against anything and everything will shrug or attack.

So why bother?

Because just because something bad is done over and over and over again does not mean it should be turned off like an According to Jim rerun. Yes, we're now numb to this. That doesn't mean it doesn't mean anything. Being cut while under anathesia doesn't make the injury go away.

And also, as a man who doesn't wear flag lapel pins I have to show my hatred for this country.

Maybe I Just Don't Get It

"Sweetie"? THIS gets people upset?

Apparently, yes.

I can only hope fervently Obama had his lapel pin on at the Rag-nickname-rok, or his campaign may well be over now. Damned by a diminutive, as it were.

Look, I can sorta kinda understand women saying it's demeaning and belittling to be called sweetie. Sorta kinda. I mean, if he had said 'ma'am' there would, Gods willing, be no uproar since 'ma'am' apparently only denotes sexuality, I don't get it but I can see women being offended at it. I guess if McCain or Bush calls a male reporter son, or butch, or stud, everyone will jump all over it.

But from this one fairly minimal time, some people have decided it makes him sexist and unprepared to be on the world stage - Ann Althouse wonders if he'd call Ahmadinejad that in a summit, the exact same way she wondered if Bush would attempt to rub Ahmadinejad down the way he did Angela Merkel. (Of course she didn't say this, but wouldn't it have been nice to see her batshiatness avalanche both ways?) The uproar and outrage on OTB's collection of reactions is just that you would have thought Obama called the reporter 'bitch', asked if she was on the rag or what, demanded she take off her shoes and get back in the kitchen, and attempted to impregnante her right then and there. I mean, there you've obviously got sexism. But 'sweetie'?

Some on the far left, always looking for a reason to be upset, never ones to shirk from perceived ills, must almost be schizophernic. A black man? Good! Who may have said something sexist? Bad! TILT TILT TILT TILT

Some of the right, a la "Non-sweetie" Althouse...well, I'll just say she's not almost schizophernic here.

Isn't it nice to see the right and the left marching in lockstep overreaction? Obama, truly a uniter.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Oh, man, my sides hurt

From an AOL news story, Bush:

"Criticized the Democratic-led Congress, claiming it had dragged its feet on trade, on renewing surveillance powers and failing to respond appropriately to the housing crisis. "And so I would call them stalled. I would call them, so far, good at verbiage and not so good at results.""

Still puts them 1 up on you, doesn't it?

But then they haven't given up chocolate pudding at the cafeteria, or decided not to play Tetris or something like that, so obviously military families can't feel solidarity with them.

It must be nice to be so self-delusional. Sucks for America, though.

The President feels the pain

There are times when "what the fuck?" is simply not enough. I'd have to fill a whole page with "what the fucking fucked fuckity fucks fuckly fuckitive fuckness fuckavo fuque..." and even then I couldn't began express the brain freezing, heart skipping, car wreck in front of the eyes moment of THIS quote:

For the first time, Bush revealed a personal way in which he has tried to acknowledge the sacrifice of soldiers and their families.

“I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf,” he said. “I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.”

DailyKos mixed with the Democratic Underground and seasoned with every 'Bush caused my prostrate gland to go bad' crowd on their most creatively acid tripping imaginative days couldn't have come up with a quote this bad. At least Marie Antionette was offering some sort of advice in her so-not-getting-it quote, this jerk feels that he's doing something by not chasing a small white ball in bad outfits and asking his Secret Service people for free drops. He feels in solidarity with greiving parents, widows, children and relatives by skipping the back nine.

And might I just add, this proves Tiger Woods is a jihadist.

Kerry was accused of saying stypd peeplz goes to IraK. Bush is proving him wrong by staying in Washington.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

God, I hate this guy

William Donohue heads the Catholic League, whose apparent mission is to find anti-Catholicism in everything that doesn't recite a Latin Ave Maria. He's protested TV shows, books, movies and probably cloud formations he didn't feel were appropriately deferential to the Catholic Church.

John McCain seeks and gets an endorsement from one 'religious' man, John Hagee by name. Mr. Hagee has called the Catholic Church the great whore, an apostate church, the anti-Christ and a false cult.

Given Mr. Donohue got a major case of the clutching pearls over a show that DARED to show a Catholic priests having doubts, surely this would send him into near-Victorian levels of outrage, offense and offal-spewing?

At first, yes. Fair enough - nutjob's at least consistent, eh?


A half-apology (comments the Catholic Church MAY have found hurtful? Is whore like 'mah niggah'?) and promises to be more balanced in his opinions of the church ('while the Catholic Church MAY have been responsible for homosexually sodomizing kittens while cross-dressed and pissing on the Bible, we don't know it for sure')is all Donohue needed to soothe his ruffled epistles?

I don't know who's more pathetic, this gibbering hypocrite or the mindless sheep that follow this spasmodic offense factory masquerading as religion.

PS - I stipulate right up front this add-on would earn Brendan Nyhan's swami graphic for attempted mind reading, but dammit, even swamis can call a right one once in a while.

If Pastor Wright had spouted off stuff like Hagee did, you think a false toothed form letter of an apology would have been accepted at all from Donohue, offendee-in-charge?

What's another name for a six-year emergency?

Bad planning.

Add this to the list of temporary things that will become permanent - NSL's, loosened 4th Amendment standards, military courts, war budgets, ad nauesem.

Driving Tip

I've driven in three states that have bad drivers. Louisiana drives bad and gets mad when you drive bad too. Georgia has bad drivers too, but they all seem to know they're bad drivers and don't get mad when you drive bad too. "Oh, that car cut me off...but I probably did the same to him back there, so all right then."

Alabama's in the middle. You don't fear for your life but they're not too forgiving.

Anyway, this has happened to me twice the last week. Using a median turnaround spot - you know, those cutouts in the median where you can get in the otherbound lane - it's a damn good idea to wait until the other lanes are totally clear, not just the closest lane to you. I've seen cars pass from the right lane into the spot I would have pulled out into without checking to see if I was pulling out, which would have made for a nice little wreck.

Just a handy tip.

Grudgingly, in Hillary's defense

I'm not voting for Hillary. Her tactics in the primary disgust me, I wasn't a fan of her back in the day, and her policies fail to move me any more or less than the other candidates. In addition, should she be elected, unless the Democrats manage to control both chambers by a veto-proof margin, I think Congress will be more gridlocked than a one-lane road to a Hannah Montana concert.

Having said all this, I don't blame her YET for staying in the race, though I'm scared of how far she'll go.

I don't think a long drawn out primary necessarily hurts the party having it. After all, Clinton had to come from behind in 1992's primary and still won, and Bush had to fight for a while to get it in 2000. It may not help, but it's not a sure-fire loss for the party, with one exception that I'll bring up later.

And, be fair - this is probably the only environment that Clinton realistically has a chance of winning the Presidency. She's not well liked, people have many and deep negative views of her, and in a 'normal' time she wouldn't have a chance. But given how suicidally stupid the Bushpublicans have been in trashing damn near everything, she does have a chance, now more than any. So why not stay and fight for as long as she can?

Now, the exception to my idea that hard fought primaries don't hurt the party is when the losing party decides to destroy the party to get selected. Will Clinton do this? I want to say no, but I have to admit I have some fear. I can see why she's staying in the race, and I hope that when she sees she will lose she won't decide to napalm the course as she leaves.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


Hillary Clinton's Personal Life Revealed!

Long time Republican sleeper agent brought into the light

All of the rumors have been confirmed - Hillary Clinton, in fact, is and always was a secret Republican. An exclusive investigation by this blog has shown irrefutable proof that Mrs. Clinton was activated to sabotage the Democrat's chances.

"I'm shocked it took this long for you people to put it together," said one Republican operative who asked to remain anonymous, called "Evor LraK." "Look at how she's acted. The shamless pandering, the power-grabbing, the refusal to admit reality, the scorning of advice and opinions...did we need to put her in an elephant uniform?"

The plan called 'Operation They're Not Really Going to Fall For This, Are They?' was set in motion soon after the Iraq war's blush of victory had changed into the blush of 'damn, we screwed up'. Knowing that Bush and Republicans would be blamed for the mess, Evor began to set up his Misschurain Candidate.

"We had planned to get her to run in 2004, but then Kerry was nominated and we figured, eh, why bother? Held her back for when she was needed."

When the 2006 elections swept the Democrats into power, Evor jumped into action. Nightly planning strageties were held with Mrs. Clinton as to how to look her worst and turn people away from politics in general. Rush Limbaugh was brought in early and swore his support in return for a free trip to the Dominican Republic.

"My God, how it worked! She was a natural at looking power hungry and tone-deaf. We didn't anticipate the Michigan and Florida controversies, but we'll take all the help we can get. We need it, let's be honest."

Evor singled out Mrs. Clinton's insistence of counting the Michigan primary results when she was the only name on the ballot as an act 'of great moral discourage and true selfishness. How do you look at that act and not be disgusted? Made me proud."

When Mrs. Clinton was asked about this accusation, she simply stated she wanted what was best for her party. She refused to elaborate on which party she meant.

This blog regrets being unable to run the similiar revelation of Ms. Ann Coulter's allegiance to the Democratic Party, but our fact-checking department collapsed in exhaustion when examining her books. We wish them a speedy recovery at St. Carter's Ward for the Terminally Exhausted.

You're Doing It Wrong

This idea. Guys, rats are supposed to run AWAY from the sinking ship, not buy first class tickets.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Family Update

As I said way back when, my son was diagnosed autistic. We're very lucky that he's quite high level, but one area we have problems in is he still doesn't talk much, and when he does it's the 'hard' stuff - naming things, saying what he wants to eat or to do.

The softer things, like how do you feel and where does it hurt, he doesn't get. And this can lead to anything from frustration to terror.

If he's cranky in the morning, is it because he didn't sleep good or because he has a migraine? I can keep him home and be safe, but he could be fine. That's a minor one.

Major? How about last October when we got in a wreck? Guy lost control, came over the median and T-boned us at 40 MPH. Spun us around, totaled the car, and of course the Prince was screaming up a storm...but because of the shock of the wreck, or because he was really hurt?

Didn't take any chances, called the ambulance as soon as the car stopped moving and I regained consciousness. (Only out for a few seconds.) This did lead to a grimly funny moment, when an off duty paramedic couple came running over and offered to check my son. They gave him a once-over and asked him questions to see if he was okay, which of course he didn't answer. The woman came into the front seat and whispered very nervously, "He's not responding, he may have a head injury."

"No, he's autistic."

She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or sorry. He was fine, by the way.

He is getting better and is doing well in school. In fact, they think he's above 1st grade standards already. Only issue is getting him to respond effectively to show he knows it to the satisfaction of school standards. We're working on some alternate techniques.

All in all, pretty good but could be better.

Problem Solved!


' me,' she adds.

Fresh off her plan to solve high energy prices by a 3 month 'gas tax' holiday, Hillary Clinton announced she also had come up with solutions to several other problems plaguing society.

Calling a news conference at the local 7-11, and holding an extra large Purple Slurple (an everyday thing for her, her publicist Lloyd Irving Ellison added) Hillary listed all her ideas.

"Take global warming. Major problem, right? No! Here's what we do. We simply adjust the temperature scale down twenty degress, and hey presto! We're in the middle of a cold snap! Get out the parkas," she joked.

"Hey, Lloyd, don't forget my Slim Jims," she called back before going on.

"How about terrorism? Easy as pie. From now on, it's not terrorism, it's a just a major incident. War in Iraq? Not anymore, now it's a party we haven't left yet!"

"I also have some really good ideas for calling second place 'presumptive winner', or maybe 'stand-in'."

"Now, I know some elitist, snobby, know-it-all people with degrees...that have LATIN on them...may find problems with these ideas. As always, it seems like people who know better they we do feel the need to say so." President Bush immediately switched his endorsement to Clinton upon hearing this, saying "At last we agree."

For his part, Obama responded to Hillary's claims with a calm, reasoned "What the f*ck?"

Rebirthed! Restarted! Redone! Reheated!

You may, or probably don't, remember me from those days at Owned By Cats. After what was only a short break in geologic terms, I've decided to refire up the blogging engine and see how much oil is needed. Expect blue smoke for a while.

Owned By Cats will still be up with all the old posts on it, since for some strange reasons Google is acting like the government agency that wanted proof of death brought in by the dead person themselves:

LOG ON: (my email)
PASSWORD: (my password)


Okay, then, let's try logging in the old way...

LOG ON: (my email)
PASSWORD: (old password)

EMAIL AND PASSWORD DO NOT MATCH. YOUR EMAIL IS the same one I put in the first time!

I guess they want my writing preserved for posterity. Blackmail material, perhaps.