Thursday, May 8, 2008


Hillary Clinton's Personal Life Revealed!

Long time Republican sleeper agent brought into the light

All of the rumors have been confirmed - Hillary Clinton, in fact, is and always was a secret Republican. An exclusive investigation by this blog has shown irrefutable proof that Mrs. Clinton was activated to sabotage the Democrat's chances.

"I'm shocked it took this long for you people to put it together," said one Republican operative who asked to remain anonymous, called "Evor LraK." "Look at how she's acted. The shamless pandering, the power-grabbing, the refusal to admit reality, the scorning of advice and opinions...did we need to put her in an elephant uniform?"

The plan called 'Operation They're Not Really Going to Fall For This, Are They?' was set in motion soon after the Iraq war's blush of victory had changed into the blush of 'damn, we screwed up'. Knowing that Bush and Republicans would be blamed for the mess, Evor began to set up his Misschurain Candidate.

"We had planned to get her to run in 2004, but then Kerry was nominated and we figured, eh, why bother? Held her back for when she was needed."

When the 2006 elections swept the Democrats into power, Evor jumped into action. Nightly planning strageties were held with Mrs. Clinton as to how to look her worst and turn people away from politics in general. Rush Limbaugh was brought in early and swore his support in return for a free trip to the Dominican Republic.

"My God, how it worked! She was a natural at looking power hungry and tone-deaf. We didn't anticipate the Michigan and Florida controversies, but we'll take all the help we can get. We need it, let's be honest."

Evor singled out Mrs. Clinton's insistence of counting the Michigan primary results when she was the only name on the ballot as an act 'of great moral discourage and true selfishness. How do you look at that act and not be disgusted? Made me proud."

When Mrs. Clinton was asked about this accusation, she simply stated she wanted what was best for her party. She refused to elaborate on which party she meant.

This blog regrets being unable to run the similiar revelation of Ms. Ann Coulter's allegiance to the Democratic Party, but our fact-checking department collapsed in exhaustion when examining her books. We wish them a speedy recovery at St. Carter's Ward for the Terminally Exhausted.

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